So we moved from out of state to where we are coming on 12 years now. I was very excited to move here and start fresh but I knew that I would miss a lot of people that I left behind, mostly the friends I grew up with as my family had all moved away long before I did. Today, I have many of them on Facebook and we keep in touch, it's so nice to communicate in some form with them.
As soon as we moved, I had to start work right away as I was pretty much the bread winner since we moved here for my husband to go to graduate school. Between work and raising a small child, my son was 5 at the time, I never really had the chance to get out and socialize or form any bonds or start any friendships. I did meet a couple of people but either felt awkward since they had many bonds already and I felt out of place due to my shy nature or they moved away themselves.
Now that my son is older and I finally have to chance to get out and have a nice time with a friend or two, now I have another fear. Since then I became chronically sick, AND my sickness is my fear. The fear that I will let people down or come across as the sick girl (I don't like to show weakness). I have heard of people losing friends over getting ill. Who wants to be friends with the sick girl? The one who can't even make plans? Maybe had I grown up here and known people here for a long time, it would be different. I wouldn't have to worry about being judged. But the fear of letting 'strangers' into that part of my world scares me so... so I crawl back into my shell of my home, another day without any friends, it's very lonely here.